It is better if the couple can resolve their problems themselves. If not, they should each chose a religious, wise, patient and smart representative to discuss their problems. Perhaps this way they can avoid a divorce.If ye fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family, and the other from hers; If they wish for peace, God will cause their reconciliation: for God hath full knowledge, and is acquainted with all things.[Holy Quran: Nisaa: 4:35]
A divorce is only permissible twice: after that, the parties should either hold together on equitable terms, or separate with kindness. It is not lawful for you, (men), to take back any of your gifts (from your wives), except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by God.
If ye (judges) do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by God, there is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom. These are the limits ordained by God: So do not transgress them. If any do transgress the limits ordained by God, such persons wrong (themselves as well as others).[Holy Quran: Baqara 2: 229]
When ye divorce women, and they fulfill the term of their (‘Iddat), either take them back on equitable terms or set them free on equitable terms; but do not take them back to injure them, (or) to take undue advantage; if anyone does that, he wrongs his own soul. Do not treat God’s Signs as a jest, but solemnly rehearse God’s favors on you, and the fact that he sent down to you the Book and Wisdom, for your instruction. And fear God, and know that God is well acquainted with all things.[Holy Quran: Baqara 2:231]
Note that the Quran reminds us of the blessings, the Quran, God’s Infinite Knowledge and Wisdom when discussing divorce. This is so that justice is fully honored. It is obvious that divorce will not be mentioned in families which are religious and believe in God and the Hereafter, and are adorned with good morals and deeds. They will live together in peace forever and will raise their children with love and affection. The laziness, depressions, addiction, quitting education, and corruption of many of our children are rooted in the differences between their parents or their divorce. If we want this horrible dragon called divorce to disappear, then the man should not be oppressive, he must respect the rights of his wife and honor his obligations, and use humane and Islamic principles in treating his wife and children. The woman should perform her duties as a mother and wife, too. God dislikes divorce, and whoever is responsible for it will be questioned in the Hereafter.
We should try to reduce the statistics of divorce. We should stop sinning, flirting, and oppressing others so that there be no more divorce. The judicial system of the country should publish a leaflet outlining moral issues and stating the evil aspects of divorce. This should be handed out to those who wish to get divorced. Reading it may change their mind, and they may not return to separation. Their life may be re-established. It is better that widows as widowers not enter the society, since they may be corrupted by those whose faith is weak.
Adopted from the book: “The Islamic Family Structure” by: “Husayn Ansarian”